Like all white, middle-class Londoners, I subsist on a diet comprised mainly of salted caramel and katsu curry. It appears Grasshopper Manufacture, makers of maximalist action adventure Romeo is a Dead Man, appreciate that delightful marriage of rice, breadcrumbs, and carroty sauce as well. Our lad Romeo can gather up katsu ingredients before delivering them to his waiting mum, who’ll turn them into one of ten mouth-watering, buff-applying curries.

But can those recipes nourish us, fleshy humans of IRL make, with the same benefits? To find out, I prepped, cooked, and taste-tested all ten of Romeo’s mum’s katsu creations in my own kitchen.

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Really, you should just think of every moment of your life as a series of escape rooms. It's healthy.

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Really you should wake up every morning and check the integral of happiness over time.